Spoils of War - Gang Rape Galore

[Vela Nanashi]

Glad to share some ideas also don't feel forced by my strong opinions on things, write the way that is comfortable to you

[Lucius]

“With all you blue cunts around we are way over capacity, but we did our best.” He tapped a number on the screen. “This, is our daily target/actual rate. Given the circumstances that is way more than could have been expected.”
Joran needed sleep, he could feel stim induced irrational anger rise, but his cock stiffened at the mere sight of her. Maybe just one more fuck before he could rest. As he rolled the gagged and tied woman on her back, with almost no resistance, he moved above her, almost instinctively pushing her knees apart, and started kneading her big tits roughly.
“Yes, 66% ain’t bad. Ain’t bad at all for an inferior species, wouldn’t you agree you big fucking whore?”
With a squelching sound he slid into her slick pussy…

Joran's lucky it's the New Roman Empire and not the New Bolsheviks -- the latter would've expected 166%!

A good one, I like the world-building and the violations. Pity the story runs a bit like a documentary on the subject of sexual subjugation done by the Faculty of Ara’kology in New Rome, I'd like to have more plot -- some input from the Ara’ki females, their actions and reactions, perhaps?

[Claire]

I think I know what you mean, but to better understand:
Would you consider it a narrative question if for example in the beginning the refuses to submit to demands, then chipping away at that to in the end having her maybe opening her mouth for his cock to avoid punishment?

That what you mean?

I think @Lucius captures what I mean very well when he says that your story is in a sense a documentary.

Let me try a comparison. Imagine you watch Star Wars - A New Hope and you get all that world building: SciFi Setting, Jedi, the Empire vs. the rebels etc. The movie cuts to Luke who is just a farmer. And then the movie goes on and shows us.... his daily life as a farmer. No storm troopers killing his aunt and uncle, no mission to save Leah. That is essentially what your story does, with farming being raping in this case. They get this shipment of slaves, they break them in likethey always do and nothing disrupts what was supposed to happen from the get go.

You could for example have told the story like this: The main character needs to fulfill a certain quota or he loses his job or gets killed even. Or he wants to claim that one slave, but somebody else wants her too and now it becomes a competition who comes more often or who makes her come more often or faster. Nothing super deep, but it would introduce some stakes, something that could go wrong. Currently your story reads: "Slaves arrive - Slaves need to be broken in like always - Slaves get broken in like always".

[AdmiralPiet]

I think I know what you mean, but to better understand:
Would you consider it a narrative question if for example in the beginning the refuses to submit to demands, then chipping away at that to in the end having her maybe opening her mouth for his cock to avoid punishment?

That what you mean?

I think @Lucius captures what I mean very well when he says that your story is in a sense a documentary.

Let me try a comparison. Imagine you watch Star Wars - A New Hope and you get all that world building: SciFi Setting, Jedi, the Empire vs. the rebels etc. The movie cuts to Luke who is just a farmer. And then the movie goes on and shows us.... his daily life as a farmer. No storm troopers killing his aunt and uncle, no mission to save Leah. That is essentially what your story does, with farming being raping in this case. They get this shipment of slaves, they break them in likethey always do and nothing disrupts what was supposed to happen from the get go.

You could for example have told the story like this: The main character needs to fulfill a certain quota or he loses his job or gets killed even. Or he wants to claim that one slave, but somebody else wants her too and now it becomes a competition who comes more often or who makes her come more often or faster. Nothing super deep, but it would introduce some stakes, something that could go wrong. Currently your story reads: "Slaves arrive - Slaves need to be broken in like always - Slaves get broken in like always".

Alright. Thanks for the explanation.
I will consider that next time.

[KittyUmbrass]

When even your rapist is just trying to get through the day and you're barely registering, it's probably way worse than having been chosen particularly. Hey, one of these characters gets to feel it both ways...

Loved the worldbuilding, and as a writer who loves writing stories purely to describe a new sci-fi or fantasy realm, I understand the tendency to splurge everything, whether or not it's relevant to the story you're telling. A lot of the time, I end up only using 10% or so of the background info - and maybe this story was a situation where maybe it didn't need the infodump to set things up, and perhaps some of the details could have been worked into the main narrative in a "show, don't tell" kind of way?

Either way, the story does what it sets out to do, so good job.

[Nickamano]

Enjoyed this. Good world building. I enjoyed the "its like the past but in the future" idea. Kinda reminded me of Warhammer 40k.
Good clear descriptions. I pictured tech stuff like the whips would create the sensation of pain without physical damage to the flesh. But maybe that just a me thing?

The 66% idea was certainly clever, but (unless I've miss understood it) really disturbingly dark. Are the other 33% getting spaced? Floating by outside the windows of the space station? really wasteful! I could help picturing looking idly out of your window and you spot your perfect blue-skinned-sex-slave-kink-babe floating out there sucking on vacuum! You'd really be kicking yourself!!
Thanks your throwing your hat into the contest (mixing metaphors now!).

[AdmiralPiet]

Loved the worldbuilding, and as a writer who loves writing stories purely to describe a new sci-fi or fantasy realm, I understand the tendency to splurge everything, whether or not it's relevant to the story you're telling. A lot of the time, I end up only using 10% or so of the background info - and maybe this story was a situation where maybe it didn't need the infodump to set things up, and perhaps some of the details could have been worked into the main narrative in a "show, don't tell" kind of way?

I think I am very much influenced by David Weber: Middle of a space batte, people dying left and right, entire sections vaporised and opened to space. Situation critical, the heroes are on a clock.
And now: An excursion into the technical history of the impeller driven ship-to-ship missile used in modern space combat...

Sometimes however I feel it better to explain this as a "historic narrator" because the characters have no reason to talk about these things. I could have tried to weave in some historic dates into Jorans thoughts however.

Either way, the story does what it sets out to do, so good job.

Thanks

Enjoyed this. Good world building. I enjoyed the "its like the past but in the future" idea. Kinda reminded me of Warhammer 40k.

Thanks.
Yes, 40k played into that. The whole breakdown of society reeked of the Age of Strife

Good clear descriptions. I pictured tech stuff like the whips would create the sensation of pain without physical damage to the flesh. But maybe that just a me thing?

That was the intention. I do like a whipping that leaves scars at times, but especially when you want to use it often one has to either go with BDSM style whips and floggers, or go technical.
I could maybe have explained it a bit better.
The whipcords will sting on their own, but they are too soft to gouge deeper wounds. Just faint marks/reddening of the skin. But they activate nerve receptors and hurt more than would be expected from the cord alone.

The 66% idea was certainly clever, but (unless I've miss understood it) really disturbingly dark. Are the other 33% getting spaced? Floating by outside the windows of the space station? really wasteful! I could help picturing looking idly out of your window and you spot your perfect blue-skinned-sex-slave-kink-babe floating out there sucking on vacuum! You'd really be kicking yourself!!
Thanks your throwing your hat into the contest (mixing metaphors now!).

It is meant as a customer-orders-on-short-notice kind of situation.
"Joe, we need 30.000 units by next week."
"Bill, you know we produce 10.000 per week on normal operation. Even with extra shifts and overtime it won't be more than 15.000"
"Thats the number. Make it work!"

Let's say Jorans target rate, set by outside circumstances, was 4000 in a day. 4000 to clear the decks before the next shipment arrived.
Normaly he could process 1500 a day, but he surpassed that and reached around 2640.
Still not enough, but at least his superiors could not say he didn't try.

[Shocker]

@AdmiralPiet I think there are worse influences to have than David Weber, his early Honor Harrington and Safehold books are simply excellent, he is just loosing focus if series run to long. Then he is using many words to achieve nothing.

[Lux]

A fun and interesting story to read! Thank you for writing it!