It Takes a Village - Rube Goldberg Contest

[SoftGameHunter]

I guess if we're breaking it down, while I found it smoothly transitioning enough, I probably would not have gone with the Melody portion myself. Putting a dominatrix into what were otherwise plausible scenes was a bit of a flavor shift. I mean, being raped in a parking lot, a hotel room, in an alley, etc, are all things that happen. They're grounded. But whoever got kidnapped by a dominatrix? By itself, the Melody part works fine. I think it's better in isolation. Hmm, maybe I do follow what you're saying after all. Still a kick-ass story. This was a good contest.

[RapeU]

I guess if we're breaking it down, while I found it smoothly transitioning enough, I probably would not have gone with the Melody portion myself. Putting a dominatrix into what were otherwise plausible scenes was a bit of a flavor shift. I mean, being raped in a parking lot, a hotel room, in an alley, etc, are all things that happen. They're grounded. But whoever got kidnapped by a dominatrix? By itself, the Melody part works fine. I think it's better in isolation. Hmm, maybe I do follow what you're saying after all. Still a kick-ass story. This was a good contest.

I see @Blue's point that the Melody scene could have been left out entirely. However, if you really think about it these guys were not looking to just rape the girl for fun. They wanted to break her utterly and completely because of the kind of person she was.

I would say that the Melody scene was perfect because up until this point Lana has been raped and abused by people you're supposed to trust - aside from the first one of course in the parking garage. Strangers on the side of the road will typically help a person out, not drag them to a hotel to rape them. Cops would typically be a service to someone in need, not sodomize them with nightsticks. So when all of this shit happens to you, where do you turn to for support? Other women? She can't even trust another woman because of how one worked her over. So who is she going to turn to now? Each and every time someone looked like they were showing genuine concern for her, only for her to realize too late that the concern was feigned.

In shorter words, it's the ultimate mind fuck because you literally can't trust anyone to confide in or help you because of how many ways this group messed with her.

[SoftGameHunter]

All good points, @RapeU , but she didn't really turn to Melody. Melody took her.

I'm not that invested either way. I just like that we're having a lengthy discussion now on the most effective way to put this woman through hell and back.

[LaLia]

The beginning was really strong. Book club? WTF? Interesting idea, and I also thought the bit about the minors was a nice way to incorporate it and a subtle dig at certain people.

It continued well from there; the rape scenes were well-written, but even for me, it felt a little drawn out towards the end. But of what I've read so far in the competition, it's one of the best stories; voting doesn't make it any easier, though.

[RapeU]

Congratulations on winning the Rube Goldberg story contest!

[Claire]

First contest participation and an immediate victory! Well done! Congratulations from me, too.

[Shocker]

This was very well written, so congratulations to a very deserved win.

[Darinost]

Thanks everyone!

[JTCK]

Congratulations to @Darinost the winner of the contest! That was actually my favorite story in the competition as well. Though all of the stories were really good, and I found the decision truly difficult. Many thanks to all the other authors as well!

[MillieDynamite]

@Darinost, congratulations on your runaway win. Great story, I enjoyed the read a great deal.