First story I read for the contest and it's a strong contender for the title in my view. I fear though that you might not have done yourself a favor by entering such a long story against mostly medium length stories with most of them not even reaching half the word count of your story. But posting your long story in 9 chapters is a good way to farm ratings from me, I guess!
I might be biased here, but it felt to me like I could tell that you just came from finishing The CUNT Rapist. They way you wrote the character interactions between Wendy and Hannah reminded me a lot of that. And that's a good thing because that was one of the strongest qualities of The CUNT Rapist.
I think you also managed to make Wendy and Hannah very likeable which is probably the most important aspect for this story. If you don't like this couple and don't feel for them, the story doesn't work. So it's good you nailed that.
I also disagree with
@SoftGameHunter that the first chapter dragged. I thought it was fine. If there was something I had to criticize about the early part of the story, so before the car crash, it would be this. I think there were one or two instances where I was unsure during the dialogue who was talking like here for example:
“There’s nothing worse than needing a charger and not having one,” she finally said after a pause. “Except maybe discovering your girlfriend hoards lithium like a deranged squirrel,” I playfully shot out.
The dialogue bit that starts with "Except maybe..." could be read as Hannah qualifying her own previous sentence until you reach the 'I playfully shot out.'
And I think you leaned a bit heavy into the flirting with sexual innuendos. You get across that these two are a couple of sex positive lesbians, but you could have cut a few of those and maybe reference something else they like to do together to flesh them out a little beyond being sex positive lesbians.
But in terms of pacing, I like the opening to the story a lot.
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Now, I could explain why the story is 2 and not 3 points for me. But I would have to write quite a bit to explain that and I fear that my feedback post would come across more negative as I intend it to be just because that more critical aspect would take up so much more space. So, I'll leave it at that for now. I really liked the story and the characters. I think you continue to deliver after The CUNT Rapist. If you want to go into the details, I can say more. But your story is a great entry for the contest as is.
