Record Chaser - Final Chapter Released!

[RapeU]

It's interesting that we both around the same time period wrote about characters telling their experience about being assaulted. Like I mentioned in my previous comment, this brings depth to stories that you don't normally see. It makes the characters more relatable. More alive.

I'm not just reading a story to satisfy my fantasy. I'm reading something bigger and deeper. Something that both brings out the fantasy to help satisfy the itch, and something that tugs us back to reality that it's inhumane.

I'm sure I'll have more to say later. Perhaps I'll give this another read like a full novel from start to finish now that it's a complete story.

[JTCK]

@Vela Nanashi, what a great comment, I agree with you on everything; I especially like your thoughts about trust in relationships — I also don’t see a future for Jason and Nora.

[Claire]

Thank you all so much for your kind feedback. I'm a very happy girl right now. Let's see how many posts I'll make this response...

I've mentioned in other comments that I've deep-dived into writing theory a lot. Watching writing videos. If this story were in one of those, I'd expect them to say it was a risky move, putting the final focus on a previously unseen character. Well, some of them would say it was just plain wrong, but free advice on the internet often returns what you paid for it. What did I think of that choice? Undecided. It wasn't flat-out wrong, and it delivered something I'm trying to put my finger on. I'm not sure it was the best possible option, but I'll just try to work my thinking as I write it and see if I can figure this out.

You're probably right that this is a weird move. I liked the tonal whiplash of mundane relationship trouble to the heaviness of the previous chapter as the opening hook for this final chapter. And I also like to try new things. We write so much from the perspectives of victims and rapists... I just thought it would be interesting to look at the victim from the perspective of a well meaning third party, not someone who objectifies her. And one of the reasons why I chose Jason as the POV character and not Emily is that I like to have some positive male figure in longer stories like this one. Given the nature of our genre, we're usually not painting male characters in the most positive light. So every now and then, I like to include a positive male presence in my stories.

If I wrote stories with the hope of getting published somewhere or living off my writing, then I would likely consider such a drastic choice to change the POV character more carefully. But for a forum like ours, I ultimately just thought: If my readers followed me for 10 chapters on this journey, then they will follow me through that POV shift as well.

I suspect it's hard to have a close friend let it drop that she was raped that very night.

I think for many survivors even using the word rape can be hard. And in Claire's case, she was not "just" raped but abducted, held captive for a day, raped repeatedly, and she is severely sleep deprived. From what I understand, dissociating trauma victims often have trouble giving a coherent account of what happened. They will start their account of the events somewhere in the middle ("I was in a basement."), fixate on weird details that make no sense to anyone but them ("I liked Eugene's shirt."), and lack awareness for the context information that the person they are talking to has. In the story, I tried to convey the latter by having Claire mention Eugene in the same breath as Emily despite Jason having no idea who he is, and her talking about Mark's record which also means nothing to Jason. I have no expertise in this either, but looking at how I portrayed things, I probably made Claire too coherent for this to be a truly realistic portrayal of someone in her situation. Other symptoms of trauma you could see in this or the previous chapter are her hypervigilance (checking the door, the window, irrational fear her keys might be gone) and decision paralysis (having trouble to choose what to wear for sleep).

I don't know if author-Claire intended something like this as the ending all along, but giving us pictures of Claire's personal connections as a mental lifeline worked in-story and also as a writing technique that allowed her to pull of an ending that breaks a lot of storytelling rules.

.

I kind of like being called author-Claire... Anyway, I intended this to be the ending since at least December 2024 I think. In chapter 4 part 1 of my story Späte Genugtuung is a reference to Jason calling Claire's work place for her and letting them know that she's sick. So I decided on this ending for Record Chaser some time before that.

Some other stray thoughts. I briefly wondered if Jason and Claire were going to end up a couple after all, but quickly dismissed it.

I think there is two readings on this that both make sense. Either their relationship is as platonic as their own thoughts would want you to believe, then no, there will be no romance. Or these two have internalized the "Our bond is too precious to risk destroying it with romance"-narrative so much that they are lying to themselves. In that case, this additional closeness will likely bring any romantic undertones to the forefront once Claire feels ready to explore romance and sexuality in a consensual way again. Either way, I absolutely did not want to portray any sexual tension in this final chapter. I think if you see a person you truly care about hollowed out like this, your mind simply does not register them as sexually attractive in that moment even if they are usually the hottest person in the world for you.

I probably could have done with less of their argument.

That's fair. I never wrote a scene like this before and it was a lot of fun for me to write this stupid, petty argument. So I might have gotten a little carried away with this. But I will talk in a later post about why I included this scene and what purpose it serves from my perspective.

Thank you for your feedback. I enjoyed reading it a lot!

[Claire]

Even though I stupidly already wrote this under the last chapter as well: now really — what a wonderful ending to a wonderful story!

In a way, the ending is open. But somehow you can also sense a kind of happy ending in the distance — and the two of them have truly earned that.

I'm so glad you liked the ending! I wouldn't compromise my vision for the story because a reader doesn't like the reaction I'm taking things. But after your disappointment with chapter 8 I was a bit scared that you might not like where I'm going with this. And that would have made me really sad.

I also hope that here is a happy ending somewhere on the horizon.

I’m usually quite reserved with superlatives, but this might be the best chapter I’ve read from you so far. I find it incredibly gripping; you manage to portray the psychological exceptional situation the two of them are in with absolute credibility.

Thank you, that's high praise. I'm almost a bit worried about writing scenes that have little to no sex in them. I'm sometimes very proud of these scenes but I know they usually don't get much attention. So it's really nice to read some appreciation for a scene like this.

Especially during his argument with Nora. Written so authentically! For a moment I was afraid her jealousy would stop him from going to Claire.

I've been so cruel to Claire, I couldn't do that... As I said in my response to @SoftGameHunter I might have had a little too much fun writing this argument. Especially this moment here:

“Fine, go, but don’t think about coming back when you get there and it turns out she texted you because her cat ran away!”

“She doesn’t have a cat…”

“NOT THE POINT, JASON!”

I laughed so hard when I wrote this.

Thank you for this wonderful story — for me personally, it’s the best one here on the forum.

Back then, I struggled for quite a while before deciding to register on RU. Now, of course, I’m glad I finally did. And the fact that my comment motivated you to keep writing the story makes me incredibly happy!

What made you struggle back then? I think you registered a bit before did. Was it just the thought of registering on a site with adult content and the stigma this still carries?

It's interesting that we both around the same time period wrote about characters telling their experience about being assaulted. Like I mentioned in my previous comment, this brings depth to stories that you don't normally see. It makes the characters more relatable. More alive.

I'm not just reading a story to satisfy my fantasy. I'm reading something bigger and deeper. Something that both brings out the fantasy to help satisfy the itch, and something that tugs us back to reality that it's inhumane.

I'm sure I'll have more to say later. Perhaps I'll give this another read like a full novel from start to finish now that it's a complete story.

Was the scene difficult for you to write? And let me know how rereading the story changes your perspective if you do read it again!

[Claire]

One thing I really find sad is when a girl/boy friend does not trust their boy/girl friend enough to dare let them be with their friends, why even be a couple if you can't trust your girl/boy friend? It is a really ugly look too, and then there are the people who want to isolate their girl/boy friend from all friends, those are even worse. Maybe this is a weird opinion to have I dunno...

I get to a degree that your boyfriend having such a close friendship with a childhood friend can make you question things... but yeah, I agree with you. I once was in a very short lived relationhip with a man who simply could not get his jealousy in check. So I know from personal experience how irrational fears born out of jealousy can be.

I don't think that Nora wants to isolate Jason from all friends. I think she just feels that she can't measure up to the bond he has with Claire.

Please excuse me when I talk to characters in the story lol.

No no, go ahead. I think it's cute.

All those fond memories are totally adorable, got swept up reading them, and loving them

That's nice of you to say. That was the one part in the chapter I thought might drag a little.

so I think she is managing to communicate somewhat good given the circumstances.

You're right. As I said in an earlier post, she is probably too coherent for the state she's actually in.

I would suggest very slow flaying Jason, that way Mark would go to hell screaming, ahem, but yeah that might not be what Claire needs right now.

Go, Vela! Nice to see you so protective of my fictional characters!

I think you also captured with just a few words the way men guard women they are with when they are out, and women who are with a trusted man can relax a whole lot, knowing they are safe, and don't have to keep eye out themselves.

This moment is actually a callback to Claire's thoughts in chapter 4:

Where was Jason? Jason had always looked out for her when they went partying together when they were younger. He had told her that he knew what boys could be like, especially drunk boys meeting a lone drunk girl. She had told him that he didn’t have to look out for her. He did it anyway, even when it had annoyed her a little. He was sweet that way. Why wasn’t he here now?

Though he forgot to go look if door was locked (but it probably is).

He knew that the door is locked and he never intended to actually look. He was just calming her ind to help her fall asleep. That bw, from what I understand, is something you should do if you're responding to someone's trauma. Don't invalidate their feelings/fears by saying "The door is locked" or "You worry unneccessarily" but take what they are saying as given and sooth them from their own perspective ("I'll check for you.").

I think I need to see her be okay, also my eyes are leaking, damn it.

Finally, I'm not alone in crying for Claire...

Thank you for the amazing story Claire.

You're welcome! And thank you for sticking with it despite it being outside of your usual wheelhouse.

that is clear signs of depression to me

In her case, this is severe trauma induced dissociation and sleep deprivation.


Thank you, Vela. Great comment as always.

[RapeU]

It's interesting that we both around the same time period wrote about characters telling their experience about being assaulted. Like I mentioned in my previous comment, this brings depth to stories that you don't normally see. It makes the characters more relatable. More alive.

I'm not just reading a story to satisfy my fantasy. I'm reading something bigger and deeper. Something that both brings out the fantasy to help satisfy the itch, and something that tugs us back to reality that it's inhumane.

I'm sure I'll have more to say later. Perhaps I'll give this another read like a full novel from start to finish now that it's a complete story.

Was the scene difficult for you to write? And let me know how rereading the story changes your perspective if you do read it again!

Yes. My eyes leaked tears and I had to just get up out of my chair and walk around for a few minutes before finishing it.

[SoftGameHunter]

Was the scene difficult for you to write? And let me know how rereading the story changes your perspective if you do read it again!

Yes. My eyes leaked tears and I had to just get up out of my chair and walk around for a few minutes before finishing it.

Which story are you guys talking about?

[Claire]

@SoftGameHunter The CUNT rapist, @RapeU's magnum opus.