Wrong Turn In Southern India

[HistBuff]

The ending is a bit rushed, perhaps, but there are so many men, so little time... @HistBuff, have you considered ending the story with Danny and the girls not getting out of India alive? Just curious -- there were moments I've had a 'not gonna see New Jersey again' vibe. Perhaps it's just me.

I'll admit that by the end, when I originally posted it, I was eager to write something a bit more in my usual line!

[abdtiresias]

Great to see this story again here! I always loved the idea of being raped by Indian rural old men or untouchable castes. Though you “rushed” the ending, because of that this story became compact and impactful, I think. Although I kind of wished at least one of the girls remained in the village and became pregnant with village farmer… Hope to see another more erotic stories set in India or South Asia…

[HistBuff]

Great to see this story again here! I always loved the idea of being raped by Indian rural old men or untouchable castes. Though you “rushed” the ending, because of that this story became compact and impactful, I think. Although I kind of wished at least one of the girls remained in the village and became pregnant with village farmer… Hope to see another more erotic stories set in India or South Asia…

Thanks for commenting, @abdtiresias. The ending felt rushed, like @LaLia said because I piled up too much extra stuff, and this weakened all those impactful gang-rape scenes. What I would do differently would be to just quicken the narrative pace and come up with some way of ending the story while reinforcing the earlier scenes, such as bringing back those details as all-too-vivid dreams, having a couple of the rapists feel guilty and now trying the help the girls, etc. The premise was awesome and the story deserved a better ending For many writers, learning how to make a story stand out more through a strong ending is what comes, in the end