My wife's ordeal

[Axxe443]

The author of this story has read and accepted the rules for posting stories. They guarantee that the following story depicts none of the themes listed in the Forbidden Content section of the rules. #

My wife's name is Reeha. At 25 years of age, she is a total diva. She believes in living freely living wildly. She is fully aware of her sexy feminine aura and knows how and when to use it to her advantage.
She is slim but curvy with nice and firm 36b boobs and an even better ass. She married a fat and ugly person like me because she knows very well that I can't afford to ever lose a hottie like her because I will never get another girl. So she holds all the sexual power in our marriage, barely ever letting me touch her. I have this feeling that even after marriage which was 2 years ago, her numerous fit and strong male friends and colleagues have been able to feel and enjoy more of her hot body than I have even though I am married to her.
She often goes to pubs at night to dance . Often without taking me with her, alone or with her group of male friends. My imaginations run wild when she comes back at 2 am tired and drunk and with full of untold possibilities that might have just occurred.
But on this night, I did accompany her to a pub. Tonight she didn't drink alcohol. She just wanted to dance. So she was dancing in her short revealing dress with her sensual dance moves and her naked legs and her tight body hugging top fully displayed to the hungry and lusty eyes of men all around us. I was just observing her from a distance, a glass of whisky in my hand, too drunk to do anything but sit and stare.
I could see a bunch of guys swarming around my wife as she danced in her own mood unhindered. I felt my dick harden with jealousy when I saw a few guys trying to touch my wife in inappropriate places. I didn't think it was necessary to go and stop them because I felt that a goddess like my wife was allowed to sin once in a while and people around her deserved to enjoy a piece of her once in a while.
However things quickly started to escalate when one guy then started tugging at her arm and pulling her somewhere. My wife suddenly aware , began resisting him. But then another man pushed my wife from behind and both of them started dragging her towards the men's room, tightly covering her mouth with their hands so that she can't shout. I immediately began running towards their direction almost stumbling on the way. Towards the men's room it was dark and there was no one there. I chased them as I could see my wife struggling to break away from their grip. But I was late as they two men already pushed my wife inside an empty room and closed the door before I could reach. I started banging on the door. But it was useless.
Through the door I could hear screams of my wife and groans of the two men. I could hear the sound my wife getting hit and slapped repeatedly. I could hear my wife sobbing and crying and screaming. I could also hear the two men laughing and calling her a slut and whore while at the same time groaning with immense pleasure. I could hear unbuckling of belts . Then there was the repeated sound of the belts lashing hard on skin.
Standing on the other side of the door. I unbuckled my own belt. I took out my dick which was hard and erect by now. And I started masturbating.

[Shocker]

Hello @Axxe443 thank you for posting your story. There are some very good parts to it. I‘d just like to make you aware of two things.

First you might want to go back in the story and add an additional empty line for paragraph seperation. Your story is approaching the dreaded wall of text, which will make it hard to read, especially on a mobile device. I think, I can see that you have structured the story with paragraphs, but a single return, doesn’t render as paragraph on the forum software.

Secondly, there are some useful templates available in the editor, making sure that all the proper disclaimers are in, as well giving a story a helpful structure. Have a look when you have time.

[Axxe443]

Hi @Shocker Thanks for the feedback

[Shocker]

Hi @Shocker Thanks for the feedback

You are welcome, I didn’t want to sound harsh, as I genuinely liked the content of your story.

[Axxe443]

@Shocker Glad you liked it. It's my first time as a writer

[Shocker]

@Shocker Glad you liked it. It's my first time as a writer

Well congratulations, you are now a self published author.

Kidding aside, I remember my first story that I published. I was so horny typing it, I never really stopped thinking on what I was doing those three nights. It will get easier and harder from here on out. Easier because, you have done it once, you know you can do it again. Easier, because you know there are people out there reading and enjoying your story.
Harder, because you now know people are reading your stories. I’m always incredibly tense waiting for that rush of dopamine, when the first person responds. Harder, because you start thinking more about your stories, possibly second guessing yourself.

Let me offer a piece of advice, write a story that you are happy with. Don’t worry about anybody else, write something that excites you. And you will inevitably find others enjoy it as well. There will be criticism, which is also normal, if it is constructive criticism, think about it if you WANT to incorporate it. Those are your stories, and you will grow with them, there is no need to change them just because somebody else thinks so. That is as long as you are staying within the rules of the board.

[Claire]

@Axxe443 Welcome to the Academy and congratulations on posting your first story!

I can mirror @Shocker's advice for the most part. But I would add that the story kind off just suddenly ends. The ending feels a bit abrupt to me.

[R.R.Ryan]

I think you need to continue the story in this same thread. Switch point of view to the wife, from the point where she is grabbed and dragged off, and give her rape as her story. She can be wondering why her husband doesn't intervene from the get-go. Perhaps even angrier at him than the rapists. Describe her humiliation, and delve into the aftermath as the men leave and the husband, far too weak a person to confront them, tries to comfort his wife.

Just a suggestion, it's a nice start.