Dear Diary

[Claire]

Teaser: I did a horrible thing. And you’re the only one I can talk to about this. I know it’s stupid, but it feels like even you might accuse me once I’m done writing.
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The author of this story has read and accepted the rules for posting stories. They guarantee that the following story depicts none of the themes listed in the Forbidden Content section of the rules.

The following story is a work of fiction meant for entertainment purposes only. It depicts nonconsensual sexual acts between adults. It is in no way meant to be understood as an endorsement of nonconsensual sex in real life. Any similarities of the characters in the story to real people are purely coincidental.
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Title: Dear Diary - Test
Author: @Claire
My stories: Claire's Cesspool of Sin
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This story won the Rashomon's Legacy contest.
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Dear Diary

Chapter 1 - The Witness

Dear Diary,

I did a horrible thing. And you’re the only one I can talk to about this. I know it’s stupid, but it feels like even you might accuse me once I’m done writing.

I didn’t expect to write to you tonight when the day began. I hadn’t planned anything special. Well, that’s not entirely true. I decided to go for a walk around the lake which is unusual in October, I guess. You know I love going there in the summer. Especially when Atlas was still alive, it was just perfect, he enjoyed those long walks so much. He’s been dead for a year now but I still think of him every time I’m at the lake. Anyway, I’m rambling, or maybe more like: avoiding the core issue, I suppose.

So, I decided to go for a stroll around the lake because it was unusually warm the last couple of days. Climate change, probably. Despite the weather being all sunny, there weren’t many people around. I don’t mind the bustling crowd around the lake on a usual summer day, but being mostly alone like today felt kinda nice, too. When I got close to that little secluded spot about halfway around the lake, where the bushes and trees shield you from prying eyes, I thought it might be nice to just sit down for a while and read a bit. But when I got there, I noticed that somebody else apparently had the same idea as me.

There was a woman there, sunbathing, topless even. I knew the spot was somewhat secluded and in October not a lot of people went there. But she was still out in the open, ready to be found by anyone passing by. Case in point, I found her!

I knew I should have just turned around and left. But I felt like she was stealing my spot. Looking at her, she was gorgeous. A little older than me, I think, early thirties maybe? And her boobs looked so firm, not like mine. But it was mostly her aura that captivated me. Lying there without a care in the world, showing off her body like there’s nothing to hide, her sunglasses reflecting her coolness. I wish I had her nonchalant attitude somewhere in me.

I can’t tell you for how long I just stood there, watching her, admiring her… resenting her. But at some point, another person came into view. A man, I noticed him before her. He was walking toward her with confident steps. He was wearing a black mask and carrying a small knife. My breath immediately quickened when I saw him.

When she noticed him, she jumped up immediately, clearly panicked. Why wouldn’t she be? I was, and I wasn’t even his target just watching them from behind my tree. She didn’t even think of covering herself up, just put her hands in front of her and tried to assuage him. He didn’t say a word, just came a step closer. I saw her crouch down and grab her purse from her handbag. She offered him money. I wonder what went through her mind. Did she really think he was there to rob her? Or did she just cling to the hope that these were his intentions? I knew what he wanted from her from the start.

You might be wondering why I didn’t say anything. I’ve never seen a scene like that in real life. Masked man with a knife, that’s an image I only know from movies. I know I should have said something, tried to scare him off by letting him know there’s more people than he expected. But what was I supposed to do there, realistically? The guy was clearly taller and stronger than me. Even if I teamed up with her, I don’t know whether we could have handled him. And don’t forget about the knife! Seeing a knife like that, not as a tool to cut vegetables, but as a weapon, that does something to you. I just couldn’t.

Next, he just punched the purse out of her hand, closed the remaining distance between them in an instant, put his hand above her mouth and wrestled her to the ground. My heart was beating so fast, my fingers digging into the bark of the tree. I realize, I just said that I felt scared. But that’s not the whole truth. I hope nobody ever reads this but me, but I have to say it, at least here.

I wanted to see him take her nonchalant confidence from her.

See? I’m horrible, as I said in the beginning. What kind of person even thinks such a thing? I could hear her muffled scream as he tore her bikini bottom from her body. My mouth was overflowing with saliva, forcing me to gulp at the sight before me. If I wasn’t doing anything to help her, then I should at least not watch. But I stayed anyway, telling myself that I might be there for her in the aftermath, play the caring pedestrian who finds her post violation and gets her a doctor or the police. But that was a lie, too. I just couldn’t stop watching.

It didn’t take long after that and he was thrusting into her. She looked like a beautiful butterfly pinned to the ground by a mantis, her forcibly spread legs helplessly flailing about like wings that were no longer of any use to her. But what I will never forget is the sound. Her muffled groans drowned out by the frantic rhythm of his hips pistoning into hers over and over again. He was relentless, not caring about her at all. I think he was just trying to come as fast as he could. His movement didn’t even hint at any attempt of him trying to pace himself.

I just stood there, my legs shaking. I thought that I should at least call the police. Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Would that not have been the obvious thing to do? Call the police and then step out into the open with the officer still on the line, announcing that the police was on the way? He surely would have run if I had done that, right? God, instead I just stood there, feeling myself get wet watching him… rape her.

I had to resist the urge to touch myself so hard. It’s not my fault that I was getting wet, right? But masturbating to this, that’s on a whole other level! But I wanted to. I saw him accelerating. I knew what was coming and I’m sure she did too. This poor woman. I’m so glad she didn’t see me. What would she have thought locking eyes with me just watching while he came inside her? She doesn’t even know how I betrayed her.

I realized that he was coming when he stopped moving buried deep inside her and she closed her eyes, just holding still. He didn’t stay long after he was finished. He moved vaguely in my direction. Well, it was unlikely that he could have seen me, but I ran away anyway, using whatever excuse I could to avoid seeing her traumatized state, to avoid… seeing what I could have prevented. And with every running step I felt the wet fabric of my panties clinging to my lips.

Since I got home, I’ve been checking the News and local police reports like every five minutes. What am I supposed to do if she reports the assault? Come clean, telling everybody that I saw what happened? Would people believe me that I was just scared? And what would my testimony even do? I only saw the guy with his mask on, I can’t identify him! But what if she saw me after all, maybe as I was running away? What would I say to her if she confronted me? I know what the truth would be.

I watched you get raped and I don’t even know your name. I’m so sorry, nameless woman. You deserved a better witness than me. I wish I would have made a different choice in the moment. But the truth is, even now, hours after the fact, I want nothing more than to touch myself remembering your muffled screams. I don’t think I will be able to sleep until I come to the memory of your violation.

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[Blue]

Surprising chapter 4. But somehow I suspected that the perpetrator in chapter 3 couldn't have been her boyfriend.

[Claire]

Surprising chapter 4. But somehow I suspected that the perpetrator in chapter 3 couldn't have been her boyfriend.

Well, I was hoping chapter 3 would make that clear already.

[RapeU]

I think out of all stories this one was the best one that implemented the spirit of the theme. I wish I could have thought up of something for the contest, but even if I had it probably wouldn't have been good as this.

[Claire]

I think out of all stories this one was the best one that implemented the spirit of the theme. I wish I could have thought up of something for the contest, but even if I had it probably wouldn't have been good as this.

Thanks, that's high praise coming from you! But let me ask you, what would you have done in Frank's shoes?

[RapeU]

I think out of all stories this one was the best one that implemented the spirit of the theme. I wish I could have thought up of something for the contest, but even if I had it probably wouldn't have been good as this.

Thanks, that's high praise coming from you! But let me ask you, what would you have done in Frank's shoes?

If it were my wife I'd tell her because if she found out that I knew and kept it from her she would be uber pissed

[Claire]

If it were my wife I'd tell her because if she found out that I knew and kept it from her she would be uber pissed

She'd never know. I'm curious to see how this poll will turn out. Hopefully a few more people will share what they would do. Thanks for voting!

[Shocker]

A very good story, I did enjoy the separate view points, each of them exciting enough to stand on their own. Perhaps just a technicality, but my recommendation would be to combine the four parts. That way you can keep the surprise of your twist ending alive a little bit longer. Knowing there was a fourth chapter, I did suspect there might be an actual rapist at work during chapter 3. It does not diminish the story, just a personal preference.

[Claire]

A very good story, I did enjoy the separate view points, each of them exciting enough to stand on their own. Perhaps just a technicality, but my recommendation would be to combine the four parts. That way you can keep the surprise of your twist ending alive a little bit longer. Knowing there was a fourth chapter, I did suspect there might be an actual rapist at work during chapter 3. It does not diminish the story, just a personal preference.

Oh, that's a good suggestion! I'll edit that tomorrow, thanks! Glad you liked it.

[Claire]

@Shocker I followed your suggestion. Now it's all contained in one post.